A Chimpanzee Hall of Mirrors
Yes it's true, whenever I get too busy to produce new art for this blog, I drag out my trusty old Jeff Polage photos. Quite frankly, I can't tell which is the chimp and which is Andy Dick...or which is Mr. Polage for that matter. New art coming soon, but in the meantime, do check out this crazy gossip I found in the UK tabloids. Those Brits really know how to dish the dirt:
- More evidence Angelina Jolie is directly contributing to Brad Pitt's chewed up appearance.
- Christina Aguilera and her giant red lips ogle sexy undies while her hubby sits there and tries to act like he's not paying any attention to the gorgeous scantily clad women who are slinking past him.
- As if Paris Hilton isn't enough of a cartoon character already, now she and sister Nikki are planning on creating a Simpsons-style autobiographical cartoon of their lives. I wonder if they'll be contacting me to create the characters? Doubt it.
- Donald Trump and his hair are not big fans of Kevin Federline.
- UK reporter uses Larry Wachowski as unfortunate poster child demonstrating how "Hollywood is renowned as the world capital of excessive, freakish behaviour". If you ask me, this reporter could have found dozens, no, hundreds of far better examples to illustrate his point.
LOL! Oh my God that cross dressing Larry story is off the hook hilarious!
Still I am rolling on the floor laughing about Brad Pitt turning into an alcoholic. Oh my God this is rich! Can you imagine what would happen if Angelina found out about all this? Who knows, she might buy a whip from Ilsa and make Brad dress like a lady as she spanks him. It could happen.
I have to say, I think Christina's husband is a very smart man. I would not want to piss that woman off. He if had as much as glanced at one of those models I bet she'd beat him to death. She looks well capable of it. Maybe she took him to the show as a "control test."
Paris Hilton's show should be very interesting, maybe it will be a hit if they keep Tom Cruise out of it. Because we all know what happens when you make "Tom in the closet" jokes.....
Finally, look at how sad this whole thing with Britney Spears is. Donald Trump doesn't strike me as being the most down to earth man but even he (who looks like he has a rabid animal attacking the top of his head 24/7) knows something is very wrong with that whole relationship. I suppose that's rock bottom: when Trump says it's bad, you know it's REAL bad.
Thanks for the great gossip! :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | March 22, 2006 at 04:15 PM
Ever since I saw Andy Dick simulating fellatio (sp?) on Tommy Lee, I have just wanted to barf! Jeff's tongue is quite impressive; he doesn't have a gag reflex does he?
Oh yes, I am a lesbian!
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | March 22, 2006 at 10:39 PM
I hope the hilton cartoon has a flanders-type family next door and they pray that this bunch of ugly is removed from them.. and the hilton's house blows up via various reasons each week.. at the end.. causing the hiltons to bail out in fright and rebuild another house; now that would be worth watching..
Posted by: d.c. | March 23, 2006 at 06:16 AM
We love you, Jeff Polage!!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | March 23, 2006 at 06:27 AM
goodness me, but our jeff has a very long tongue!
i heart him in all his forms.
truly a genius.
Posted by: EmerEmma | March 23, 2006 at 08:33 AM
The tongue photos excite me in unspeakable ways. All three. Even Andy. Just kidding, I love Andy!
As for Brad---I can't resist, guys---the rumor is that he has bruises on his face in these photos and a deep scratch on his chest, and had a fight with Angelina where she apparently beat the crap out of him. But maybe this excites him, who knows? She is also very, very skinny looking for someone seven and a half months pregnant, isn't she? Eat, girl, just eat.
Posted by: tricia | March 23, 2006 at 11:20 AM
You do realise Jeff is becoming somewhat of a celeb in his own rights. You just know the academy will pull out these pics when he gets an Oscar nod.
Posted by: Damien | March 23, 2006 at 03:55 PM
You may be interested to know 14 that CatholicMatch is advertising on your site. I tried to be as politically correct as possible just now.
St. Joan of Arc was always my favorite.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, -Amen.
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | March 23, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Well we certainly know which one's the dick.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | March 27, 2006 at 12:56 PM
i'm not the smartest person in the world. but i gotta ask this question. which one the dick? now since that's out the way. i think i'll go grab a bannana.
Posted by: demarriob | April 05, 2006 at 04:14 PM
LOL
Jeff Polage is HILLARIOUS!!! Hope you guys get to post MORE of Jeff's........
Posted by: Raama | April 21, 2006 at 04:10 PM
More Jeff.... quickly! I'm coming down hard and got the DTs. Please just hit me with more Jeff P. photos, I beg of you.
Posted by: wundersmack | June 16, 2006 at 11:04 AM