Angelina Jolie's Subservient Pull Toy

Brad Pitt has gone from sexiest man alive to subservient, pitiful yes-man who does whatever his girlfriend says. Ever since he met Angelina, he seems to have completely forgotten his self-identity. Don't believe us? Consider the following:

Angelina wears dark clothes, and what do you know.....Brad has started wearing dark clothes.
Angelina is a pilot....and SURPRISE! Brad wants to be a pilot.
Angelina is a Goodwill Ambassador, now Brad wants to be a Goodwill Ambassador.
AND.... the most obvious example of Brad's spineless metamorphosis can be observed in how Angelina grabs his hand and leads the way at each and every photo op. Brad is a pull toy, a handsome man on wheels who tends and entertains the kids while Angelina dazzles.

Curious about the shiny red button on the Pull Toy's back? Press it and Pull Toy happily responds:

"Yes dear."
"Whatever makes you happy, dear."
"I agree with you dear, excellent idea."
"Whatever you say dear."

Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

Comments

[captainobvious]

brilliant.

[Titsy Pooparella]

Totals, man. This pretty much sums it up. Every time I see one more tabloid claiming "Jennifer mourning over Brad" and then a picture of Brad following the impregnated ice queen around on the cover of the next mag, I think, "Man, I bet she got over him long ago". Brad was hot in Thelma & Louise, but now he's just a steroided bleach blonde big tittied nanny boy.

[Miss Cherry]

I Totally agree captain----I think, perhaps 14 has identified the role that suits him best.....wonder if he likes the fluffy pink cuffs or the nasty metal ones better...........?

[Salmonella]

That is some great observation, 14. However, I can't help but admire Angelina for her ability to make a pull toy out of the sexiest man alive. She rocks. Jennifer Aniston rocks. Brad, I think we should forget you now.

[midevil]

Whoa... could it be true? I'm all for guys who do take an active role in child rearing and we do need more of it, but maybe you got a point. Hmmm, is he head over heals?

[TheIdleReceptionist]

O.M.G. Yes. Yesyesyesyes. I'm so glad somebody has noticed this!!!

I love it!! To me, Brad went the way of Tom Cruise, except Cruise is much more dominant in his idiocy than the Pitt.

They're both fools to me now.

[DonnaJEM]

Loves it!
You did the kids good. Baby Z is adorable and I love that pic of Mad sticking his tongue out at the terror-atsi.
BUT the DUH look you've captured on Brad is beyond brilliant, and so is the "old school" radio flyer under-carriage he's riding on.

[Tricia]

I was wondering if you'd do one on them---it was definitely worth the wait. She *does* pull him along, literally----for the reverse, see Tom and Katie. These two aren't as creepy as Tom and Katie *yet but they're getting close. He also dresses just like her in most situations, has dark hair now, just as he was bleached for Gwyneth and sandy-shaggy for Jennifer. He would have looked adorable with a Rachel cut.

I also see the ice queen thing in Jolie. Even pregnant. Especially pregnant. Jennifer is lucky she got out when she did.

Pull-toy! But really, still a pretty one.

[mari]

LMBAO: so very funny, yet sadly true.

That says it all...well done!!

[elle]

"However, I can't help but admire Angelina for her ability to make a pull toy out of the sexiest man alive."

took the words right out of my -- er -- fingers, salomella. it's not like all of us wouldn't do it if we could.

[Suburbia in the City]

The picture looks like a really fun ride. Maybe they could introduce it as the second part of Disney Land's It's a Small World. I am sure it would make Angelina proud and realize her efforts of making the world a better place has paid off.

[BrnEyedGirl676]

Brad looks like a doggie pull-toy! With his wagging, "I'm happy just to be near you" tail and slightly forlorn, yet eager to please countenance. He is totally W-H-I-P-P-E-D!

[Arielle]

Ha. So true. I love it when Maddox sticks his tongue out like that to give a toddler FU to the paparazzi. I think Braniston was doomed from the I do's. But bravo again!

[Chansmom]

I have to commend Angelina on her caring for children and poverty stricken countries. I just don't see this relationship going anywhere except divorce court, when the time comes.

The fact she's also having a baby also tells us that Brad is nothing more than a "donor." Angie loves kids, but her men are disposable.

[Celebrity Wonk]

That's a great observation!

But, like most men, Brad will wake up and stand up to Angelina. Then she will kick him to the curb and be off to the next guy.

[leilani]

I dont agree. I think you guys are unattractive and hence jealous.

[Allie]

Miss Cherry- I'd say it would depend on the cuffs that Miss Jolie likes, wouldn't you? ;)

[pawleysgirl]

Word...the Liverlipped one has the Pittster totally whipped. Such a shame for one as gorgeous as Brad. Unfortunately his looks are on the wane...hopefully his looks don't go a la Robert Redford.

[Carrie]

You guys are all crazy!

[Dawn (webmiztris)]

this is so true. I've always had the biggest crush on Brad until he started dating Angelina. He just doesn't seem like the same guy anymore.

[S]

Nothing wrong with a subservient man. You really need to try it. It actually fulfills everyone's needs: a man's need to feel useful and a woman's need to be worshipped. It certainly beats the tired ol' macho-man baloney most men try to pull off. You definitely know that she wears the pants... nothing wrong with Pitt helping her put them on.

[L]

Word. Where can I get mine?

[Demon Kitty]

I am so glad I wasn't the only one who noticed it.

What the hell is up with her son? The child always has a receding hairline and a mohawk and looks pissed off as shit? Whose doing is this? Did she introduce her child to the mohawk? The kid looks like a spoiled brat - an asian baby "Mr. T",

[Charlene]

The same thing happened with Gwyneth and with Jennifer. He even begins to look like his significant others.

And Jennifer isn't anywhere near finished with her very deliberate and calculated "oh look at me and feel sympathy, I'm a wronged, wronged woman" act. She's squeezing every drop out of it (mostly unwarranted, since apparently she bailed out of the relationship first) that she can.

[Janine]

Girl - imma wet myself one day from reading your column!

[Marie]

Admittedly, this habit has in the past seemed pretty creepy and immature. But seeing him in his new role is really quite fascinating. I dare any of you to argue that. Copying hairstyles is one thing; being motivated to improve yourself and maybe make a positive impact in the world is quite another.

I'd say lucky for him he ended his boring marriage to a seemingly boring woman. Maybe he made his first smart, grown-up decision. So good for him.

[ROD]

It is sad how he's loosing his identity. Age isn't on his side either. Don't get nne wrong. FIGHT CLUB? he was totally f*** able!
I think he and Nick Lachey Need sonne down tinne in Tahiti. Delicious idea, no? p.s. nny nn is broke, so nn = well...nn
R.
buddhannoon

I'd rather be pecked to death by rabid chickens than date either professional Other-Woman Jolie or--what did Anne Rice call him in 1994?--"the Barbie Doll from Hell"...gaah.

Please don't draw her, 14--it'll break your pencils!

(great work, as usual) :)

Oh, well cyndi g.

[CB]

hope you will published another perspective of Aniston.

Stumbled on this comment on another site. It exactly mirrors my own thoughts. Couldn't have said it better.

On Jennifer Aniston:

Well I can say I hate the way she lives her life and how she went about her divorce. Other then that, I was straight with her. I watched Friends all the time. She wasn’t my favorite. In fact her and Ross were very annoying. I mean nails on the chalkboard annoying. They need to give them a gold medal for being that annoying. Paris Hilton is less annoying then those characters. But I digress.
I agree there is no envy here. There is no secret love here with me. No. I hate that a 37 year old woman gets to have all her shit placed on someone else. Her marriage fell apart because her husband found someone hotter? Yeah right and George Bush never sniffed the nose candy.
I can’t wait to be 37 and all my shit is someone else’s fault. Do you know how many women and men get divorced? Do you know how many of them have worse lives then her? Many do. There are even those that, surprise!, take full responsibility for their part in the marriage ending. She is an adult not a child. She can’t say it was my fault too? I have to hear her bitch and whine and carry on about how her “girlfriends” helped her get through this difficult time? This is the woman women in America look up to? This is their role model? WOW, talk about low standards. What happened to having a backbone? What happened to female independence and fem.? All she said was I wanted a baby. For that she has the sisters rooting for her? Damn, I weep for this society.
I grew up in another America I guess. Because in ALL those years Friends was on, people could not stand her. They thought her an overpaid clothes horse. No pun intended with the horse part. Now I supposed to believe they love her for her talent and that she is beautiful and sexy? Wow. America take off the beer goggles.
People were always mentioning how vain she is. That all she cares about is tanning herself and getting her hair just right. I mean what does it say when the person you turn to in your time of need is your hairstylist. She moved in with him when she and Brad broke up. Not Courtney, not Lisa Kudrow, not her family. But the gay guy that fixes her split ends. Her trainer a long time ago -ex really - said she was obsessed with getting the “perfect body”. She was in danger of hurting herself. She had ZERO body fat. Which is not healthy for anyone. She smokes and drinks like its gonna be outlawed tomorrow and she tans like skin cancer hasn’t been invented yet. She is everything that all those I LOVE JENN Rabid fans don’t like. She is America’s girl next door if you live in Malibu and enjoy trips to a casino.
I never knew how annoying she was till her VF interview came out. I can’t stand her sexy/little girl lost poses. I hate her pity me/don’t pity me double speak. I can’t stand that I have to hear woman after woman act like something was done to her. She filed for divorce she filed for legal separation. She was fooling around with her costar before the divorce was final, she was dry humping her strung out fugly boyfriend on a ground floor balcony for all to see. How exactly is she a sweetheart or a victim?
What kills me is, I would like the woman if she were to be honest. If only she would take responsibility for her own life, if only she would own up to holding out on kids. Millions of women do it all the time. I’m not a parent yet. I want what I want first and that’s not kids. None of this is crime. So why not come clean. Own up to what you really want Jennifer.
I had no idea how much I was annoyed by her. I can’t say hate b/c that’s to strong but lately she is pushing me to that.
Jennifer Aniston is that typical hollywood woman. She is stuck in the rat race. She is going round in round on the wheel. She will one day wake up at 40 or 45 and realize her life passed her by. I don’t wish that on anyone.
Thanks I need to rant that :D

[Jessica]

Let me get this straight. Wanting to share in your partners beliefs and past times is being a "pull toy"? Wanting to have children and not wait till you are 65 and your wife is filling holding the one thing she care for-Oscar- is being a "pull toy"? Wearing the same clothes that he has always worn througout the yrs is being a "pull toy" ?

First that thing you stated about him being a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN is an OLD and quite tired rumor. I watched this rumor grow from a tired joke that was asked of Mr. Anan at a gathering honoring Yo Yo Ma. A lazy and bored tabloid journalist decided to take that and turn it into a new piece of gossip.

If you read, which something tells me you don't, you will find that Mr. Pitt has always wanted a family. This didn't happen because his girlfriend snaped her fingers and said I want your baby. Brad Pitt made it clear earlier in his life and recently that he wanted a family. He didn't want to wait like so many men to be 65 to start his family.

It's amazing that people will believe anything put in front of them to make them happy. All you people that agreed with this like yes men to George Bush all need a serious reality check. The marriage of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt was over yrs ago. No one is a victim and no won is a cheater. No one here knows anything. All you people base your views on is old, and I mean OLD gossip from lame tabloids.

Angelina Jolie is a very good and decent person. This woman has been treated in a rude and crude manner. People have gotten off calling her a whore and other sexist terms. All the while you fawn over Jennifer Aniston. Don't you feel its sad to pitty a 37 yr old woman? Look at the facts. Aniston filed for divorce she filed for separation. She agreed to a press release saying the marriage ended for personal reasons. No one on this blog, on any blog, and in the tabloids has a clue what they speak of. They are the only ones that know why the marriage ended. So stop pretending you know.

Angelina Jolie has been subject to the most ugly treatment I have ever witnessed. she is not the "ice queen" She is a grown woman that had gone through her life the best way she could. She has stood up for herself and devotes herself to her children.

It's amazing how everything she does is turned into something horrible and weird.

Lets go down the list:

Having sex outside of marriage

Adopting children- non white

Lack of father figure

Divorce and single parenthood

Depression

Tattoos

All of these things have been made to be so unique and odd, weird. People want to paint her as the "ice queen" because she is strong. She doesn't smile for no reason and she doesn't have blonde hair and blue eyes.

People like you that pass this crude judgement on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie really are sad. I don't hate you. I pitty you. I pitty you because you will only see the ugly in such a beautiful and caring woman. She has done nothing to anyone. She didn't hurt you yet you need to hurt her. Marginalize her every move. And now that you are tired of this. The game is no longer any fun. Now you are going after her lover/boyfriend/husband/friend Brad Pitt. You can't entertain the notion that when you LOVE someone you do all you can to be there for them. Support them comfort them.

Angelina Jolie had given Brad Pitt the life HE wanted by will not force. They found in each other something I wish you will have one day. Love and respect. Brad Pitt's family feels this way. They support him 100%. Brad Pitt is a decent person because despite all the hating, the sexist talk from people as short sited as you he has ignored all that and lived the life he wants. Not the life you prefer. I imagine the life you want for him would to be the tan greek god that wears tight shirts or no shirt at all. Walk around on the red carpet and not give a damn about anyone but himself and his yr round tan.

I have read many Angelina Jolie interviews and I have seen pictures of her's throughout the yrs. No way anyone can call her the ice queen. You can see the love in her eyes. Esp. when she is around her loved ones. When she is around her fans, and esp. when she is helping those that need help and attention the most.

Like I said, I don't hate you or any of the people that posted their approval to your narrow minded views. I weep for you people that think this way because you will never know the joy he knows. You will never understand how it feels to be treated as Ms. Jolie was treated. She has been raped in words by a lot of people such as yourself. And now your target is Brad Pitt.

It's March 7th 2006. Perhaps you should move on. Stop acting as if Jennifer Aniston's pain is your own. Get over placing blame on people when you don't know either. Stop believing every piece of gossip you read.

All these people have moved on. Tried to pick up the pieces of their lives. The media and bloggers like you have made quite a killing in log numbers and money-those that get paid- over pinning one as the saint. The other the wipped man and the other as a homewrecker. Like I said, its 2006. I would love for this stuff to end. For the sexist notions all of you hold to die.

Jessica

[mic]

so what if brad is a pull toy? i think every man would die to in the position where brad is... ANGELINA JOLIE IS THE SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE FOR GOD'S SAKE AND VERY EXOTIC.. THE TRUE DEFINITION OF SEX SIREN...

[Penname]

I completely agree with Salmonella. Everyone seems to be choosing teams between Jolie and Aniston, where as I am just wondering why either of them needs to bother with him anymore.

[dee]

See what jealousy can do to people.Brad is happy and that is that.

[AP]

How truthful - I hope he is getting his just rewards behind closed doors. To be truthful she (despite all her 'weirdness') is not a bad catch - at least physically...:-)..

[Joy]

shame on all of you for making fun of innocent children. If you want to mock .. leave children alone. What I see is a beautiful family, beautiful children, loving normal family.

He loves his children.
He actually spends time with them.
He loves his girlfriend/wife
And he's called a pull toy?!

I'll take two please!

[Peggy]

Showed this to the other ladies at the office and these are just some of their responses:

Spends quality time with his children.

Takes an active role in trying to make this world a better place.

Loves an assertive woman.

Doesn't care what the world thinks of him.

How can I trade my husband in for one of those?

So, I guess its all about how you choose to look at things. We're off to Toys R' Us to get us some Brad Pitt.

[14]

Jessica,

Thanks for responding to my very silly painting of "Brangelina" gossip by writing a novel!

I'm not judging Brad or Ang, I'm just sticking to my mission of painting gossip and trying to see the humorous side of the Overgrown and Overexposed Cult of Celebrity. Sorry it caused you to weep : (

PLEASE keep commenting on my work, I love your perspective. Make sure you don't miss my upcoming post of Angelina Jolie.

14

ps: As always, thanks to all of you for reading my blog and sending your comments.

[Mel]

Oh I love it! You captured the essence of the relationship that the world is seeing at the moment for this crew! Perhaps it's different, but you said it all! Hope he gets what he deserves...dumped!

[Jan]

No wonder Jennifer divorced him! Pitt has always been way over rated but he has a very pretty face,...........or he used to.

[daniela]

brad look really bad now, i used to think the guy was sexy but not anymore , with the time he will end alone because right now he has lost a lot of friends and even his family support more jennifer , her mother visit her and even george clooney show his love for her on the oscar red carpet and in an interview he said that he wasn't that close to brad as people think.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Damn, 14, these novels are great! I love that people spend that much time thinking and writing about celebrities. And not thinking and writing with the help of spell check.
Your Brad Pitt is pretty spot on, as always. Can't wait to see your finished A.J., when the oil dries.

[Angee]

did the author of this piece stop to think that maybe, just maybe, what we're seeing now is truly who Brad Pitt is? there's a possiblity that this is the pinnacle for him, being a pull toy for one of the hottest women on the planet surrounded by babies.

[Long Island Irish]

That is your most brillant piece yet. The sad thing is that this is true. That man really needs to get an opinion.

[Justina]

you've captured the "look" of all of them ... Brad always has that look as if to say, "what do I do now Angie?" or better yet, "what have I gotten into?" And the little boy sticking out his tongue...hillarious! I've seen quite a few pics of him like that! He's a doll though, and the innocence of that little baby... you hit em all on the head!

[Cici]

Great stuff!
And just a little note to "jessica" and others... So you are the guys calling Aniston fans rabid? Take a look at your own posts, for God's sake! And before making snide comments (like artist extraordinaire 14 "doesn't read"), make sure you at least know how to spell! (fyi: it's pity, not "pitty").
Also, if, as you just said, none of us really know what the hell's going on in these people's lives, how the hell do YOU know what's going on in Jolie's?
On a side note, for the "weird stuff", you somehow failed to mention her being mentally unstable, suicidal, and indulging in incestious affairs with her brother!
Anyway, great work, 14: spot on as always.

[pinky]

I was wondering when you would paint one of him. I was thinking more of the dominatrix thing--Brad wearing a leather mask with zipper mouth, dog collar with leash attached, etc... But this is a nice twist. Me likey!
By the way don't mess with the fanatics they really know these celebrities. They're totally BFF.

[Ana]

To the owner of this blog or the creator of this pic. I don't know how old you are but you seems childish and racist including these innocent kids in your stupid drawing. It's so easy for you people to make fun's other people's live when you're not a better person yourself. Who are you, God, to judge them? Shame on you, i can't imagine how you would treat your family or you love your family, wife and kids as passionately as Pitt to his girlfriend and kids? I doubt you would be like him. I'm so disgusted with you obnoxious, closed-min, can't move on, opininated people. Blahhhhhhh...

[JenFanNot]

To the author/artist: It is ironic how you say that you are not judging Angie and Brad when it is clear that you are. You make Brad look like a weakling when he is not. He is brave enough to do something about his life which is to get away from clingy Jen. I think you should avoid posting or drawing biased article or work of art coz there are a lot of people who respect Brad and Angelina. Why did you even have to start something like this when both parties have obviously moved on. Brad is set in having a family life and Jen is starting anew with VV and her career. Did you get paid by Jen for this?