Disasterous Results Ensue When Combining Pop Culture Icons
So my friend Kipling suggested that I paint a "goatse" celebrity. She says, "You should see all the goatse inspired art all over the Internet...there's all sorts of web sites devoted to it."
14 "What's a goatse? Is it some new derivation of furry fandom?"
Kipling "Nah, it's the most disgusting photo on the Internet."
14 "Really? How did I not know about it...Where can I see it?!?!"
Kipling "Are you sure you want to see it?"
14 "The most disgusting thing on the Internet...yep, I gotta see it right away."
And that was how I lost my last remaining shreds of childlike innocence.
Sure, the goatse image was horrifying, but it was tame compared to The Most Disgusting Page EVER in Star magazine. One day I turn the page and see a giant photo of Star and Al "kissing" along with the headline, "Star Jones Reynold's SEX SECRETS!" NOOOOOO!!! NO. NO NO NO. Those words should never, ever be used in a sentence together. So, as vulgar as this subject is, I have now added to the ever expanding collection of goatse inspired "art" on the Internet. I'm sure this will do wonders for my career.
ARGGGHHHHHHH!!! my eyes!! i just looked up a goatse and thought i was going to die! I'm blaming my future therapy on you!!! ewwwwwwwww
Posted by: Melanie | February 23, 2006 at 02:10 PM
14. that is funny. and sick, also.
i wanna see the video. by the way, whose butt is that? martha stewarts? donald trumps?
Posted by: doug | February 23, 2006 at 02:43 PM
Okay I just had to google image search that little gem "YIKES", well anyway. Such a dodgey relationship. This image will haunt me until my dying day!!!
Posted by: Damien | February 23, 2006 at 02:44 PM
Blech... I have to go look at the goatse image for a while to cleanse my eyes.
Posted by: Patrick Fitzgerald | February 23, 2006 at 03:00 PM
It's gross..but not AS disgusting as you say it is. Trust me I've seen worse..much worse.
In fact, I think it's art. It's gross, but it's art. Right?
Posted by: MrFreeze | February 23, 2006 at 03:16 PM
oh my god this is BRILLIANT!!!!
am I viewing this through some stretched open orifice?? lol
Posted by: bronze Pixe | February 23, 2006 at 03:32 PM
ok
just Googled "goatse". Them kissing was like the putrid pot of gold at the end of the end of the skidmark runway
Posted by: bronzePixie | February 23, 2006 at 03:34 PM
ARGH! What have you done to me? I had to go and google "goatse art" didn't I? Yick!
Posted by: AussieAndrea | February 23, 2006 at 03:39 PM
Is that a giant rubber they are kissing inside of?
I think I have to make a threapy appointment now.....
Posted by: Long Island Irish | February 23, 2006 at 03:41 PM
that's just all kinds of wrong.
Posted by: Jason | February 23, 2006 at 04:02 PM
I forgot to mention.... PERIL at your own risk if you go sniffing around google looking for the goatse image. I warned you! : )
Answer to some of you who emailed me: The medium for this horrible goatse painting is Golden Fluid acrylic on paper. The little circles around the image were done in Photoshop.
14
Posted by: 14 | February 23, 2006 at 04:05 PM
Ok, now I'm really sorry I told you about goatse. For now I must gouge out my own eyes. ARGH.
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | February 23, 2006 at 04:13 PM
"Star Jones Reynold's SEX SECRETS!" as a headline next to that pic!? I think any advice she gives based on her own sexual experience would be better described as "Population Control"!
And, since I am now no longer hungry after being subjected to this, I think I may paste this image on my fridge to see if I can lose a few pounds.
Posted by: Crees_Dahl | February 23, 2006 at 04:23 PM
What's a goatse? Is it any worse than these two nasty polyps making out inside a hand-stretched rectum? I don't think I really wanna know, but I must anyway.
Posted by: Ilsa | February 23, 2006 at 05:43 PM
OK, I just clicked on the link and answered my own question. Damn sorry I did, even though you warned us. Off to go puke now. :X
Posted by: Ilsa | February 23, 2006 at 05:58 PM
***Screaming***
It's awful!!! I love it!!
Posted by: Pop Fantastic | February 23, 2006 at 06:45 PM
OH NO!!! I just got over the stomach flu and you had to do this???
excuse me....(running for the john...)
Posted by: Christi | February 23, 2006 at 08:47 PM
A coworker showed me a picture of GOATSE 3 years ago. I had to ask all my male homosexual friends if someone's ass could dilate THAT MUCH and they would all get bitchy and defensive about it. The I asked one of the doctor's at work and he said that was "too Much".
That fact that you painted a picture of Star Jones and Big Gay All kissing with someone's distended anus as a fame for the pic, just proves to us more than ever that YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 23, 2006 at 10:57 PM
EEEEEWWWWYYYYY!!
I happened accross the goatse pic a few days ago for the first time...and YIKES.
I can't tell which is worse, that, or your goatse hybrid!!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | February 24, 2006 at 06:10 AM
I think I'm the sickest of us all because I looked at that and thought it was Star n' Al lovingly rendered on the top of one of those Pizza Hut poppers pizza.
Posted by: alison | February 24, 2006 at 08:30 AM
Haha ... I get it now
Posted by: anon | February 24, 2006 at 10:45 AM
If you think goatse-man is bad, try looking up tubgirl.com. I've been washing my eyes for weeks, can't make the horrors go away...
Posted by: Jaden | February 24, 2006 at 11:35 AM
Looked up the goatse.... just wondering if I'm the only person who immediately assumed the fetal position and closed my eyes really tight trying to picture the time I went to Disneyworld.
Posted by: Sonia | February 24, 2006 at 12:44 PM
the best part about goatse is passing it on to others :)
but seriously, don't look up tubgirl! hahahaha
Posted by: Mat | February 24, 2006 at 01:14 PM
When will this be on BoingBoing?
Posted by: Goat, see? | February 24, 2006 at 05:48 PM
Wow, I'm genuinely shocked that there are still people on the internet who have never heard of goatse. Jesus, that thing's been going around forever! And yes, do check out tubgirl!
Posted by: some dude | February 24, 2006 at 05:49 PM
Goatse...according to all that is holy, this doesn't exist in my world!
Posted by: Cathey | February 24, 2006 at 05:51 PM
I thought I had been subjected to seeing every possible fetish and weird sexual thing I could come across, but all I can say is
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Seriously, I've got to take a shower. Apparently I'm not as jaded as I believed myself to be! Great work, 14, but I'm gonna try to get goatse out of my head now.
Posted by: Morrigan | February 24, 2006 at 06:02 PM
EWW, I just had to see what a goatse was and yuck ....I found out. I'm frozen in my chair from shock and horror Ewww. Damn me from being so nosey.
Posted by: mimi | February 24, 2006 at 06:53 PM
Why doesn't Boing Boing post my goatse? It's because they are hip, trendy and cool. PROUDLY and with scintillating happiness, 14 is NOT hip, trendy and cool. And it's gonna stay that way.
14
Posted by: 14 | February 24, 2006 at 08:14 PM
First, I'm shocked that so many people haven't heard of goatse. Why don't all of you look up tubgirl, or lemonparty.org? :)
Secondly, 14, you are my favorite. I would rather have the orignial goatse pasted over every surface that I see for the rest of forever than to see those two kissing for another second. *grossed out*
Posted by: Allie | February 25, 2006 at 06:03 PM
Goatse!
Posted by: Benjamin | February 26, 2006 at 05:49 PM
to me, it looks like they're kissing inside of star's stretched out vagina. that has got to be one of the most stomach-churning images i've ever seen. hilarious, but yet very disturbing.
Posted by: james | February 27, 2006 at 07:33 AM
I was just checking in to see if you had anything new - I love your work - I'm a huge fan and sometimes your too good - I'm soo grossed out by this "makeout" portrait - it's like something I shouldnt see - too kinky!!! I feel afraid and nautious at the same time. eeewww!!!! Bring back droopy eyed Paris pic please!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Bunny | February 27, 2006 at 08:14 AM
Ok yeah, I am totally agreeing with Allie on both points. I mean, yeah 14, this is totally nasty and you did it perfectly. But more importantly, I was unaware that there were people in the world who hadn't seen goatse! Jeez people, what is this? 1996?
Posted by: Penname | February 27, 2006 at 08:21 AM
At least the wikipedia entry doesn't have the picture. The description is more than enough.
Brilliant as usual, 14. Those two are nauseating to the nth degree. This image will help with my new diet. I was going to try the Sonoma Diet but I think the Star&AlGoatseImage Diet will more than suffice!
Posted by: moonmaid | February 27, 2006 at 10:39 AM
God, that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen...I'd rather watch Skating With Celebrities then to see those two wackos kiss....or worse!
Posted by: Texas Longhorns National Champs! | February 27, 2006 at 02:10 PM
I think it's Star Jones and someones ass?
Posted by: My Spin On Things | March 01, 2006 at 01:49 PM
Eeeek !! That's gross. Star Jones is really desperate for attention, isn't she?
Posted by: Ines | March 04, 2006 at 01:38 PM
wow wow wow! this incredible piece of work really belongs on goatsesighting.com...
Posted by: goatse | June 07, 2006 at 10:13 PM
whats the tubgirl site about? I'm too scared to go look, so just give a couple details
Posted by: Hedda Lettice | June 11, 2006 at 03:07 PM
I used Google image search for goatse with the filter turned off. Tub Girl was the 2nd image that popped up. The "typical" goatse pictures are indeed gross, but Tub Girl....I had to pour myself a really stiff drink. That is some SICK shit.
Be scared. And don't say I didn't warn you.
Posted by: Babs | December 17, 2006 at 03:23 PM