Nothing says LOVE like signing a $5 million contract agreement to pose as a loving companion to a tiny man with a very large ego. This nasty little rumor was reported on Page Six and in the New York Daily News, but of course we know it can't be true. Obviously Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are madly in love and shove show their affection and devotion to each other every time they make a public appearance. When I think of LOVE,
the first romantic vision that flutters into my head is Tom and Katie
with their gushing big grins and persistant public declarations of love. Sigh.
Send this Valentine to your favorite Scientologist today!
I have enjoyed nearly everything you have posted but your Tom Cruise legs and platform shoes make me laugh out loud.
Posted by: sweetyme | February 06, 2006 at 11:55 AM
absolutely hilarious!
Posted by: d.c. | February 06, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Yikes, that thing looks like the Manson family valentines card.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | February 06, 2006 at 01:50 PM
Eeeek... there's nothing creepier than your Tom Cruise, 14. But where's his tail?
Posted by: Morrigan | February 06, 2006 at 04:18 PM
Oh, god, the platforms. That's hilarious.
Posted by: Jen | February 06, 2006 at 06:11 PM
I love it! I've disliked Tom Cruise for years, and now he's finally getting the attention he deserves!!!
Posted by: Mel | February 06, 2006 at 07:18 PM
You are so wonderful. Your art is better than my antidepressants. I can't wait to send out this valentine.
So much love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | February 06, 2006 at 08:00 PM
LOL Xenu blood...perfect!!! :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | February 06, 2006 at 09:08 PM
Tom's scowl is priceless.
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | February 07, 2006 at 07:32 AM
What a HOOT! I don't know if the contract thing is true but I have suspected it all along. I don't want to wish ill on anyone BUT if Katie develops PPD, I hope she kicks the **it out of Tom.
Posted by: Jane | February 07, 2006 at 10:00 AM
loving this!
Posted by: anon | February 07, 2006 at 12:36 PM
don't you mean kate holmes ??? :)
Posted by: sarah | February 07, 2006 at 02:34 PM
I can't believe you have that much restraint! I would have gone much higher with the platforms!
Posted by: Corthos | February 07, 2006 at 04:51 PM
Do you have Katie Holmes' email, by chance? I have a valentine to send her...
Posted by: Betty Noir | February 07, 2006 at 06:34 PM
Hmm... hilarious... creepy... it made me laugh and scream all at once!
Although I have to say, Xenu looks pretty pissed off about giving blood!
Posted by: Della | February 07, 2006 at 08:03 PM
Tom reminds me of a creepy, little toddler - with his stumpy arms and legs. And those outstretched, grabby hands that seem to scream, "Up-py, up-py! Hold me, Mommy!"
Yikes... it makes my uterus go cold!
Posted by: BrnEyedGirl676 | February 08, 2006 at 11:42 AM
He's the devil!
Posted by: Fug. | February 09, 2006 at 03:30 AM
So hilarious as usual. I love Paris Hiltons wonky eye and TOm's platform shoes. Each one is AWESOME!!
Once again, totally brilliant!
Posted by: Distressed Jeans | February 09, 2006 at 08:13 AM
Toms still totally getting my freaker of the year award!!!
Posted by: Damien | February 09, 2006 at 04:52 PM
Lol! To think that Katie Holmes has his offspring squirming inside her. Ew! In all fairness, I pity the child.
Just in case you missed it. Read Jeannette Walls Scoop. Just this week, Tom has been saying he has "Kate" tucked away, so that no one can get to her until "his child" is born. I'm sure Tom Cruise is the Anti-Christ, or he's trying hard to be.
Does this smack of craziness. Or is it just me?
Well done, 14!
Posted by: Chansmom | February 10, 2006 at 11:17 AM
This is the funniest one i've seen today. I'm definetly coming on this site again. Thanks to Girlfriend magazine for reccomending this site to me!
Posted by: Stef | February 11, 2006 at 06:26 PM
Could this BE more perfect!?!
Posted by: surcie | February 11, 2006 at 06:30 PM
What happened with the contest for writing a poem on Tom?
Posted by: milica | February 17, 2006 at 11:40 AM
i dont know if im stupid or not
wat i do know is that andrew mclauchlan is a stupid bum idiot face poo-head
Posted by: steph | February 24, 2006 at 02:39 AM
Ahhhhhhahaha, I'm pissing in my pantaloooones. Hey, D.C., it's funny you should mention the Manson family thing...I just read a CREEPY article that interviewed an ex-head honcho of Scientology that said C. Manson was a Scientologist: http://www.factnet.org/Scientology/celebrities_con.html
Posted by: libraesque | March 01, 2006 at 01:41 PM
The tom acts lately is like a devil.
hip hop
Posted by: AO | May 27, 2006 at 09:03 AM
That's funny,I can't help comparing this Tom with Impossible Mission 's Tom ,this is more better.
Posted by: Steven | February 14, 2007 at 01:34 AM