A Girlie Magazine for "Discreet" Men
Gallery of the Absurd Publications is pleased to announce the premier issue of BABE magazine. BABE was produced with the "discreet" gentleman in mind and features full-color pin-ups of their favorite types of gals, along with useful and informative articles about how to stay "discreet" while in the public eye. We decided to put Star Jones on the cover of BABE because she loves to show off her hot new bod at the beach. Tom Cruise, Al Reynolds, and David Gest are all big fans of BABE magazine!
omg, that is too funny!!
Should you grow a BEARD? classic!
Posted by: | January 10, 2006 at 10:36 AM
that is too funny - the melting face, the sagging boobs, the huge thighs riddled with cellulite, and of course, the fur... anyone who insists on draping their fat ass with fur deserves an artist's rendering such as this. Star Jones is the rare exception - she looked better fat.
Keep up the good work!
Posted by: james | January 10, 2006 at 11:51 AM
Love the payless tag on her shoes! LOL!
Posted by: Michele | January 10, 2006 at 12:34 PM
the only time a picture of Star-tled Jones has brought a smile to me face. i adore 14! thank you , sincerely.
Posted by: me | January 10, 2006 at 12:37 PM
You have done it again!!! Totally awesome work and I love the Obsolete Tara too. BTW, why is Startled Jones famous anyway?
Posted by: Bell | January 10, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Everything is perfect (the boob sag, the cottage cheese thighs, the cheap payless shoes which you know girlfriend does not really wear! She just loves Payless' money!) I have just one complaint...you made her face too pretty. She only wishes she looked that good!
Posted by: NY Diva | January 10, 2006 at 02:31 PM
Sadly I like Star's shoes. They're a nice color and shape, I'd wear them. Other than that you have painted her perfectly. The woman is a disgrace. If she keeps going at this rate her plastic surgery will be as terrible as Wacko Jacko's.
By the way, if Katie Holmes (soon to be KATE CRUISE) is a pin up here and this is for guys who like girls like her shouldn't another quiz be included called "Which Vitamin Is Right For You?"
Just a thought. :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | January 10, 2006 at 05:11 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
I wouldn't peek between the covers of that magazine if Jesus himself was giving them away!!
Good Lord, don't ever do that to me again!
I think I'll go ralph now.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | January 10, 2006 at 05:13 PM
If it weren't for you, I'd be so far out of the loop I'd be in orbit. Wheee!
Posted by: Northern_Girl | January 10, 2006 at 06:39 PM
The rag for Closeted Gentlemen...
14 this is so realistic- EW! BARF! BARF! BARF! BLECH!
I wish they would all go to hell, all go to hell-Star Jones, Gay Al, Katie Holmes with her memory foam lump tucked into her drawers, David Guest reminds me of John Wayne Gacy.
Jesus fucking hell. These bitches are going to give me nightmares.
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | January 10, 2006 at 09:12 PM
Oh no! A human being with cellulite! She must be punished!
Posted by: Beth | January 11, 2006 at 12:20 AM
Good Lord that is funny as hell! You're so talented 14!
Posted by: Karen Rani | January 11, 2006 at 04:04 AM
OH MY GOD! Just found this site. What a talent. I've been laughing out loud!!! Love it!
Posted by: Liz | January 11, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Aw, c'mon! She was on 20/20 last week touting her new book. She already said Al wasn't gay! And I believe her.....heh.
Good work again 14.
Posted by: Chansmom | January 11, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Star Jones, tops on the list of those undeserving of celebrity. And now she's gonna start selling crappy music too? The world really needs more crossover stars to spew garbage for mo'money, mo'money, mo'money.
And thanks for the nightmares, I know I'll be seeing this in my dreams tonight and I'm already screaming!
Posted by: Johnny Huh? | January 11, 2006 at 03:42 PM
What's this rumor about you being in an Mmodern show, opening Saturday?
Pimp yourself, girlfriend!
Posted by: Despair Squid | January 11, 2006 at 05:23 PM
Hee hee! The cellulite, the Payless shoes...I love it way too much!!!
Posted by: Ilsa | January 11, 2006 at 05:46 PM
I guess the question is 'will it fit under my bed' I'm guessing not.
You captured her perfectly 14.
I'm still kinda thinking that between where she was and where she is now I'd still think she'd looked better with a tad more weight - heck thats just me.
Posted by: Damien Morgan | January 12, 2006 at 07:50 PM
I particularly like the "gallery of the absurd.com" splashed across her boobs. Tasteful, indeed.
Posted by: Liz | January 13, 2006 at 04:45 PM
We at Gallery of the Absurd strive for tastelessness.
Posted by: 14 | January 13, 2006 at 05:36 PM
It's called a watermark, Liz. Many artists and
photographers use them so that their copyrighted images can be traced back to the source. I imagine you could see the image without the watermark if you wanted to pay a licensing fee for the use of the image.
Posted by: Despair Squid | January 13, 2006 at 10:55 PM
Jesus Christ in a puse cardigan, I'm-a-howling again! And, again, your text is absolutely USDA Cherse.
Were it a human being any less greedy, oblivious, useless,asinine, and all-around-inflamed-hemorrhoid IRRITATING than this, I'd brand the cover illo downright cruel. But I can't stop snickering. Bless you.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | January 15, 2006 at 05:33 PM
i love it...too funny, especially the payless shoes!! you definitely made her look much better than the real thing though.
Posted by: sylvie | January 16, 2006 at 02:40 AM
omg, those cottage cheese thighs are just TOO REAL.
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | January 16, 2006 at 04:55 PM
Hey 14, This girl is too pretty to be Star Jones. You are too generous this time.
Posted by: Mochi | January 20, 2006 at 01:58 PM
I love you 14. You always get it right!
Posted by: mrbigboy | January 27, 2006 at 04:01 PM
I found your website from Pink is the new blog. I am an art student, and I love your illustration work! The humour is awesome! I am saving ur site as one of my favourites now. KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!=)
Posted by: Anita fr. Toronto | February 14, 2006 at 10:38 AM
hilarious! your right about this, toothx for everything.
Posted by: Sarah M | March 03, 2006 at 03:53 PM
I think that your posting of pictures of Star Jones is tasteless and ignorant. Just because you make money off this crap doesn't mean that it is not insulting to her or her image. Why not find some druged out white trash movie star to trash. I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble finding them!
[edit] um....have you seen the rest of this blog? It's mostly "druged out white trash movie star". What makes you think I make any money off these? I can paint whatever I want. 14
Posted by: Barry | July 01, 2006 at 01:42 PM
...and you wonder why Star did not share her "medical intervention" with people. It would not have mattered what she shared with the world, she would still have been laughed at, clowned on, and judged harshly. This is one woman who can not win.
Ask yourselves why did she lose the weight, get the plastic surgery when she knew she would be obliterated by hollywood and the media? Because it did not matter. She could walk the line and still she would be ragged.
Star could turn into Mother, freaking, Teresa and would be immediately under attack for thinking she was God.
Sometimes you have to give to yourself, that which you can not get from others: acceptance.
Posted by: Ann | August 15, 2006 at 05:33 AM
Was looking for posts on plastic surgery and came across this one. Very Funny.
I like satire and those who can create satirical art are gifted! Looks like a few commentators don't agree ... but that's just their opinion.
Lou K - San Diego Plastic Surgery
Posted by: Lou K | December 12, 2006 at 02:02 PM