Nick Lachey's Worst Nightmare
Since his divorce from Jessica Simpson was announced, Nick Lachey has trouble sleeping. He's plagued with a terrifying recurrent nightmare involving his overbearing ex-father-in-law, Papa Joe Simpson. The nightmare goes as follows:
Papa Joe has planned a brand new episode of "Nick and Jessica's Family Christmas". He flies into Nick's room, hovers over his bed, and holds yet another ridiculous and embarrassing sweater for Nick to wear on the show. "Nick, you will wear this sweater in the opening monologue. The audience will love it! Look, it's got Christmas lights wired into it...and charming little Mr. and Mrs. Claus teddy bears!! You WILL wear it Nick...you have no choice in the matter...PUT IT ON NOW!!!" At this point, Nick tosses and turns, screams out in horror and wakes up in a cold sweat. It takes him a few moments to realize it was all just a dream.
BWAAAHAHAHA....
Hilarious!!! Papa J is batshit crazy!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | December 09, 2005 at 01:05 PM
LOL that dream sounds a lot like what happens in Ireland at Christmas except back in the old country instead of sweaters we have drinks..lots and lots of alcoholic beverages...and fights, many fights. My nightmares usually involve a flying chair and my drunken old Uncle.
Posted by: Long Island Irish | December 09, 2005 at 01:13 PM
I think Papa Joe should be a little more sinister looking. Eyebrow change maybe?
Posted by: kezza | December 09, 2005 at 02:25 PM
that is awesome - it looks just like him!!
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | December 09, 2005 at 05:03 PM
Poor Nick. It's not his fault that he looks like a grown up Cabbage Patch Kid, after all. Having a daughter's-boobie-obsessed father-in-law with control issues who is a dead ringer for Dan Quayle can't help but give the guy insomnia.
Posted by: Monkeypants Bogdanovich | December 09, 2005 at 05:24 PM
He is not only a pimp but a fame driven preacher!
Posted by: madamemedeasmilk | December 10, 2005 at 09:19 AM
This man is the scariest ever! Imagine a father dressing his daughter as he does and flaunting her sexuality all over the media and discussing her DD breasts with reporters. Verrrry disturbing!
Posted by: Christi | December 10, 2005 at 07:02 PM
Oh, wait a minute, I forgot about Beyonce's manager-father and her mother who actually makes those outfits she hoochies in!
Posted by: Christi | December 10, 2005 at 07:04 PM
What an awful father in law her was. It just goes to show you, you should never marry anyone if you hate their family.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | December 10, 2005 at 10:15 PM
God Papa J sounds like the a typical 'helicopter dad' much like the over bearing 'ever hovering' stage mother, but ten times worse. I wonder if hes a mean drunk?
Posted by: Damien | December 11, 2005 at 02:33 PM
When a father discusess his daughters breasts in the press by saying "you just can't hide those things" there needs to be a thwack-o-matic hired to bean him on the back of the head whenever he says something really stupid....like "you just can't hide those things."
Posted by: DonnaJEM | December 12, 2005 at 01:29 PM
Haha. That's great. I'm glad Papa J's insanities are coming to the surface!
Brilliant with the batwings...
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | December 13, 2005 at 06:46 AM
Now that is THE MOST REALISTIC rendering you've ever done!
Posted by: Cath | December 14, 2005 at 04:22 PM
In my personal opinion, I think that Nick and Jessica never had personal time. EVER! Her parents were always in the way.Until Jessica can grow up and get a back bone her and Nick will never be together again. Nor, will she have any relationship with anyone.
Posted by: pauletta moore | April 04, 2006 at 10:14 PM
That is a sin, Nick Lachey doesn't deserve to have horrible dreams about Jessica Simpson.Until she gets a life she will be stuck in one corner.
Posted by: Crystal | August 07, 2006 at 06:47 AM