Invasion of the Husband Snatchers

Angelina Jolie and Tori Spelling represent two factors that may contribute to luring a man away from his wife: Beauty and Power. That's especially true in Hollywood.  Strike fear into the hearts of your married pals when you choose to wear one of these Celebrity Halloween Masks to a Hollywood costume party.  Throw on the Angelina mask and watch the room grow silent as all eyes fall upon you in awe. Try the Tori mask (be sure to switch on the battery powered flashing Daddy's Money tiara so industry folks will really notice you) and witness how everyone stops their conversation and comes running toward you. 

Comments

[Frank the Wonder Frank]

I would dump Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie anyday...Jenn can't hold a candle to her in anyway...socially, politically, intellectually and physically...

They are apples and oranges...

Tori is just plain icky though...blech

[TheIdleReceptionist]

Frank you are evil. Speaking so tritely about the dissolution of a marriage may seem like nothing...until YOU are the one being dumped! Long live Jennifer Anniston and her ambiguous relationships with Vince Vaughn/Jake Gyllenhaal/That Guy from 7th Heaven!

Also, T-Spell's features look so diminutive on the mask...(maybe they're just paled in comparison to her father's pilfered gold mine...)

[Knuckles McGillicutty]

Angelina is beautiful and cold, but Angelina is always beautiful and cold. Tori...she should be writing you a fan letter for this one, because you made her look a bit like Drew Barrymore on a bad day, and on her best day Tori can only hope.

I'm pretty sure you'll sell at least one of those Tori masks to someone whose PayPal account name is 'daddys_hollywoodprincess'

[Mimi]

If posing as the World's savior, having trout lips, fake boobs and bony legs are "in", Frank, I understand why you are a big fan of Angelina Jolie. I'm sure there are people out there doing a better humanitarian job than she does without any publicity.
As for her intellect, one has to wonder about it, since she's dating Brad Pitt.

[Demon Kitty]

Wow! I am impressed! You've really captured the likeness! I love the pretty backgrounds. Tori looks like a guy. I used to love Angelina before she got her nose job and became an international man eating wet dream. The leopard-jaguar background you gave her does symbolize the sleek animal like predator quality of her sexuality. I think of red meat, blood, and awe. The wall paper for Tori reminds me of 18th century or Victorian posh upper crust- oh never mind!

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[Pamela]

You make Jolie's lips appear attractive, in real life they look ominous.

Maybe it's the lipstick? LOL

[Long Island Irish]

You should have added Jude Law's Nanny and Monica Lwedinsky(sp?) into that collection.

[Christi]

Great art again! You have made Angelina look beautiful, just as she does and you have made Tori look ...
um...well...just as she does!

[meg]

I don't get it, has Tori ever succeeded in snatching someone's husband? Because I mean, look at her. I didn't think she was ever capable of even getting laid, let alone to a married man.

[Sassy]

Let's face it, those marriages were fucked before Ange got there. Anyone who doesn't like it is either jealous of her or jealous of who she's fucking. :)

Tori is just creepy.

[milica]

I agree with Frank... I always thought Brad deserved much more than Jen... but then again, maybe I'm just evil :)
Love your work 14!

[Ann Taylor]

I never knew that drinking blood, screwing Billy Bob Thornton and making out with one's sibling was considered hot...

[jayco]

Hey Frank...to go with your list of Angelina's attributes...how about morally? ethically?

Angelina's lips could be enlarged to the size of Tori's massive head.

[fINGERfOOD]

Tori Spelling spooky....(shudders)

That's all anyone should say about that. Recall, the tunnel scene in The Exorcist: The Beginning ... when the light goes back on and the possessed chick is three inches from his face... yeah... now imagine that tiara going off and drunken laughter...

I'll take the knife collector, over There Went Polly anyday.

Great Masks 14! Do they come complete with check book or Boeing Knife?

[DonnaJEM]

AMEN Ann.
You could even knock out the blood drinking and brother kissing. Just knowing she's had crazy/creepy/whacked-out/back-of-the-limo sex with Billy Bob Thornton would be enough to make me vomit uncontrollably.
Funny how none of that BB junk has affected her popularity or career. But where's BB been?
Oh yeah, he's out trying to convince everyone that he can sing.
And Tori = Rich Bobblehead.
The End.

[BrnEyedGirl]

The "Tori" mask is dead on - right down to the dried banana-esqe ears. I've always thought her ears looked a little funny & crumpled.

I'd like to order my "Angelina" mask with less Chapstick, though. I think her lips are a bit more crusty in real life. Like an overworked prostitute, her lips often look cracked, chapped and flaky.

If you don't believe me, check out any pics or interviews done prior to 2000. Or check her out in Gia or Foxfire. Her lips (as well as acne) are out in full force. Both roles shed light on her whorish/dirty girl side.

[14]

Perhaps I did draw Tori too cute. I just saw an image of her on Trent's Pink is the New Blog and YIKES!! She looks like she had a brick implanted into her chin.

As for her husband snatchin'....it pains and embarrasses me to admit this, but I read an article in National Enquirer about the wife of the guy Tori left her husband for. "My husband left me for Tori Spelling - can you believe that?!?!?!

I've since tossed my National Enquirer into recycling and am now reading "The Singularity is Near" by my favorite futurist, Ray Kurzweil. A girl can't let her brain rot from too much gossip consumption!

14

[Madame M]

I don't think Tori Spelling looks mannish enough, but it is really really good nonetheless.... especially the "Daddy's Money" tiara, which is the true reason anyone gives a poop about her.

As for Angelina..... I agree with Frank too. It's not that I am condoning homewreckers, but that from many points of view, Jennifer Aniston had the losing end of the stick when Angelina appeared.

[Viper Tetsu]

Jesus in muddy bib overalls, you've done it yet again!! Two great caricatures, and it's frickin' unfair that you are as witty, trenchant, and gifted with a keyboard (LOVE your text!) as you are with pencils and brushes. Damn you, Snarky Renaissance Woman!

'Fess-up time, fellow 14-o-philes. I--an ardent opponent of the traditional artificially-enhanced trout pout,and a consistent cryer of bullshit re: what H'wd force-feeds America as a beauty standard--actually find Ms. Jolie exotic and attractive. Her look is less Trout-Pout, and more Brigitte Bardot, IMHO. And she can act.

That said, I do think she has lots of little rocks in her head. Pointy, jagged rocks that have put permanently damaging little scars and scratches to the reasoning (and taste) portions of her brain.

Conversely, similar jagged pointy rocks obviously occupy the skull of ANYONE who finds the spray-on-tanned,insectoid-headed, Franken-jawed,stunned-cow-expression-wearing Tori Spelling the least bit attractive.

DonnaJEM: You hit it right on the (Bobble)Head! Score!

[midevil]

Well, very nice indeed!

On all the gossip and whether Agelina Joelina is a home wrecker: aren't these Hollyrude marriages constructed and dismantled according to what their agents tell them to do for media attention purposes?

[ehi]

i would like to see what u look like little mr/miss perfect.
leave jolie alone she has done more good than u have ever done in your life

[Manuela]

With respect to Tori... sigh... I really wish people would stop being so hard on her. I mean, TRULY. Yes... we may all glance askance with a knowing smirk that Daddy has opened not so much as doors for Tori... as smashed through entire studios... but.... but. I can't even begin to fathom the depths of bravery Tori must harbour within her soul to have endured this very public ordeal of gender re-assignment. Let's keep kindess in our hearts people...

And Miss Jolie... BUTTER would not melt in this woman's mouth... could not... should not... for that block of ice she models as a heart ensures that her core temperature and facial expression never betray so much as an ounce of warmth.

[14]

oooohhh EHI, put a sock in it.

I have never claimed I was perfect. I am perfectly content being as imperfect as every other human being on the planet.

For the MILLIONTH time, I paint the subject of GOSSIP, and not the celebrity themselves. Put your fur down, relax, and have a glass of wine.

Lighten up and try to laugh a little. No one doubts Angelina does good things - but there's a hell of a lot of people out there that do good things and are overlooked because they aren't in the privileged spotlight.

14

[Manuela]

Darling... satire is a respected art form of the ages. Don't waste genius key strokes on those who wouldn't know where to find 's' in the dictionary if it happened to fall open to 't'.

However, given that EHI is either too lazy or inept to actually spell such a simple word as, 'you', it's hardly fair of you to expect this person to understand such an evolved concept as suspension of disbelief or irony. Tsk tsk, Quatorze.

[Damien Morgan]

Heck like Angelina has really only been two things 'crazy and famous', mind you I've always thought that her daddy was pretty cool. Does the Tory mask come with interior diamond liner spelling the words "Daddy's gal for life"? Not that I would'nt love some of that Spelling money.

[random aggression]

Jennifer is cute and warm and has a better body than Angelina. Angelina is gorgeous, but she seems so MEAN.

Tori's just unfortunate-looking.

[The Marauder]

Angelina Jolie is friggin' hot!!! i would dump Jen for her too. Jen is too cutesy, even though Jen and Brad look better together, actually, they kinda look alike. hollywood relationships don't really last anyway, they're all flings. Brad and Angelina won't last. I mean look at Angelina's track record, a few marriages and a lesbian fling {that broke up her first marriage}
- Tori Spelling, eww, eew, eew, eew, eew. She's gross and i'm glad her career won't be haunting us anymore - even Shannon Doherty's acting was better, or even Jennifer Garlands for that matter. Tori should be thankful she found {bought} someone. Gross.

[Angelina fan]

Now we're talking about Angelina Jolie stealing Brad from Jennifer, what about Julia Roberts stealing married cameraman Daniel Moder from his wife, or Claire Danes stealing Billy Crudup from seven month pregnant Mary-Louise Parker, or Liz Taylor stealing Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds?...it happens all the time...get over it.

[Parma Violets]

I like that logic. "If everyone does it, it must be OK!"

Why do Brangelina fans remind me of some weird cult? Why do they spend so much of their time launching massive online campaigns against anyone who dares to suggest their messiahs might be a teeny bit annoying? Is this going to be the next Scientology?

[Susan Luna]

No, my logic wasn't condoning Angelina and Brad hooking up, they are adults and are going to do what they want, who am I to judge them? I was just stating that all this hoopla goes on and on, what happened to the continuous dislike for what Julia and Claire did. It was mentioned and then forgotten.

[a fan]

If Jen wasn't self centered and was more concern about being a movie star when she can't even act. She should have given Brad a family he wished for, Angelina was there to do that for him.

[Cher]

Attention all ye wives of the 21st Century; if thou not obey thy husband and procreate when thou is told then, be prepared for banishment. Sounds rather victorian and subserviant does it?