Poor Britney Spears, keeping and entertaining that lay-about husband of hers is costing her millions. On top of that, she just spent additional millions renovating her plush Malibu mansion. Now she has little Sean Preston to feed and bling out. Money is running out. The stay-at-home marm can't possibly think of recording a new album and touring, so she's decided to enter the baby food industry. She was inspired by the idea after she and Kevin went to the convenience store to pick up some dinner:
"Kevin, it sure is too bad we cain't feed our baby the same delicious food we eat."
"Dat's fo shizz Brit! I be feedin' him dis here nacho cheese sauce and he loves it!"
"Kevin! That's a great idea! I'll go into the baby food bizness and we'll make millions!"
"Sho 'nuff Brit. Now all babies can eat as well as our little man here."
Britney Spears Baby-on-the-Go TM baby food will be sold in convenience stores around the country. Flavors include Nacho Cheese, Fried Chik'n, Pizza Stuffers, Corn Dog Puddin', and Mexican Variety Platter.
What about Frito pie flavor? You also forgot fried Twinkie flavor. That's my personal fav when I'm feeling my white trashiest.
Posted by: Sharon | October 06, 2005 at 05:15 PM
What? No mashed Cheetos?
Posted by: TSB | October 06, 2005 at 06:11 PM
I love Britney's wide eyed Gerber face. Anything to do with her and that skanky husband of hers makes me want to toss every meal I've ever eaten.
So glad you are back 14!
Love and Kisses,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | October 06, 2005 at 08:36 PM
Aw, that's nice, something to snack on while watching their About! To! Be! Leaked! Sex Tape!
I'd like to pre-order a case for TomKat and their li'l alien, please!
Posted by: Knuckles McGillicutty | October 06, 2005 at 09:07 PM
You forgot the Starbucks Latte flavor formula. And to put that ditzy little fairy on the bottles.
But this is awesome. :)
Posted by: Siryn | October 06, 2005 at 09:54 PM
Great picture. I have missed you soooo much. Can't wait to see what you do with TomKitty. And Lohan's got some driving issues that need to be addressed. My goodness...when you take a break to work, the gossip world goes into overdrive!
Posted by: Cyn | October 06, 2005 at 10:21 PM
let me give you a kiss: you are a genius. and not only because of this masterpiece.
Posted by: cipha | October 07, 2005 at 02:44 AM
No, no, TomKat's baby will be expected to survive solely on vitamins and brainwashing...
Your back like you never skipped a beat! It's brilliant, too...
What if Brit made little Sean Preston some kind of star himself (a la Little Romeo) and made his own cologne!! S.P. Fed's "Lil' Pimpin'"
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 07, 2005 at 05:49 AM
Eh....
Posted by: Leslie | October 07, 2005 at 05:50 AM
Dear 14 -- Welcome back !!
Posted by: Chris | October 07, 2005 at 10:03 AM
You've done it again! Scary thought that those two have spawned. I hope she wakes up soon.
Posted by: chansmom | October 07, 2005 at 01:41 PM
I love Brit's picture on the bottles a la the Gerber baby. So good to have you back, 14!
Posted by: Monica | October 07, 2005 at 01:47 PM
Jesus in a plastic Teletubbies bib, the image and concept is customarily BRILLiant! But the keeper for me is the conversation 'tween Brit and her Huzzizzle. Frickin' USDA choice!
While you're taking flavor requests, dear 14, get Brit and company to put out a Slim Jim Beef Stick flavor. PLEASE. In the name of all that is holy.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 07, 2005 at 04:17 PM
Yay!!!
It's great to see you back!!!
I was just hoping I'd find another gem...and here it is!!
This is great, does her line include the Slurpee in a Sippee?
Keep em comin' 14, life is too bland w/out your perspective.
Posted by: me again | October 07, 2005 at 05:07 PM
Is kevin about to make cigarettes for babies? =O
Posted by: Lindseyy | October 07, 2005 at 06:59 PM
so so very good. luv the site.
Posted by: the rpc | October 07, 2005 at 08:01 PM
Dear 14 -- Welcome back !!
Posted by: Chris | October 07, 2005 at 10:41 PM
Hope the don't forget the Britny cream pie flavor!
Posted by: mike | October 08, 2005 at 04:51 AM
*Wipes away tear* I only wish you made them more often than once a month...you're brilliant!!!!But where's the pureed Cheetos?
Posted by: Bella | October 08, 2005 at 08:13 AM
Only the best for rich, white trash and their little spawns!
Posted by: Tara S. | October 08, 2005 at 12:07 PM
Only the best for rich, white trash and their little spawns!
Posted by: Tara S. | October 08, 2005 at 12:07 PM
lmao
Posted by: christie | October 08, 2005 at 04:26 PM
14 - I'm the guy you met in San Francisco on Friday night. You blew me away with your ntoxicating charm and wit, but I fell over the edge when I saw your art.
a new fan, The Shaman
Posted by: The Shaman | October 08, 2005 at 06:21 PM
Why not make all the food smell like that lazy, money grubbing Kevin. It might just make the bonding process faster and easier.
Posted by: Sealover | October 09, 2005 at 10:21 AM
you're back!!! yea yeaaaaa
Posted by: mishi | October 09, 2005 at 11:01 AM
Brillant as usual. Hope all went well during work.
Posted by: Morrigan | October 09, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Corn dog puddin!!! LMAO! wonderful.
Posted by: Bruce | October 09, 2005 at 08:31 PM
You know when I shuffle this mortal coil I want to come back as Kevin or a similar higher mammal (is there a such thing as a 'Mooch Monkey').
Get a job Kev, a nice short sleeve and tie 9-5 or a soul destroying tour of duty at Wal-Mart.
Posted by: Damien Morgan | October 10, 2005 at 02:19 PM
I love the Red Bull Bottle!
Posted by: OwlBoy | October 10, 2005 at 09:48 PM
What about the CHEETOS?! Nice post again 14 :)
Posted by: Fug. | October 12, 2005 at 12:40 AM
Brilliant! This was the best chuckle to start the day with.
Posted by: Sarah | October 12, 2005 at 07:43 AM
pimp juice. it's a given. That and diseased vagina flavor.
And funyuns with bean dip. Or those little dip sticks candy - except with The Spawn Preston it would be dipped with a cigarette.
Posted by: debutaunt | October 12, 2005 at 01:04 PM
More! We need More!
Shiney new stuff. More! Don't care if your busy! More!
Possible 4 part series "Sex and the Rest Home"
More! More! More!
Posted by: Unreasonable Bitch | October 13, 2005 at 05:07 PM
on no.. tis grotesque
Posted by: Jason | October 13, 2005 at 09:15 PM
What about "Munchies" or Vienna sausage flavor? I'm partial to cool ranch bologna myself.
Posted by: muzzlecunt | October 14, 2005 at 09:00 AM
How about some lime soda flavored corn bread?
Posted by: Long Island Irish | October 14, 2005 at 03:53 PM
how but mommy's milk?
Posted by: Jordyn | October 16, 2005 at 12:44 PM
is this fo real?
Posted by: aef | October 16, 2005 at 12:49 PM
I hope this is a bad joke, but if not, hopefully any mother with half a brain will keep their baby far away from Britney's white trash dog chow. It's just another way for her to get her mug in front of the public -- and of course raise money to buy another trailer. Raise your own child in private Britney and leave the other defenseless, unsuspecting babies of the world to eat gerber.
Posted by: dan | October 16, 2005 at 01:25 PM
Who's this fakeass "MUZZLECUNT" pretending to be me on all these posts?! Think of your own funny name damnit!
Posted by: panthmanagator | October 16, 2005 at 01:43 PM
You are all just jealous of Britney. Why don't you get a life? That is the only thing I'm going to say.
Posted by: Kristi | October 16, 2005 at 02:05 PM
Response to "Kristi"--Why on earth would we be jealous of Britney? If you think it's because of her money and/or fame, you have got to be kidding! I pity her. She is married to a no-talent leach without any bit of intelligence whatsoever! Then she actually procreated with him....No one I know is jealous of her. We feel sorry for her.
Posted by: donna | October 17, 2005 at 06:53 AM
HAHAHA!!! Love the eyes on Brit! You have a real talent here. Enjoying your site immensely!
Posted by: Shelley | October 27, 2005 at 10:05 AM
I don't know who you poeple think you are, Brit is just another human ! What, are you PERFECT !
Posted by: me | November 04, 2005 at 12:28 AM
Get over it leave her alone. Do any of you have kids? Do you know how hard it is raising kids? What if the mistakes that everyone has made was made as public as hers are. You don't see what goes in her home when they alone. Get a life. Do you like people talking about you?
Posted by: | June 02, 2006 at 09:35 AM
that is so mean i love britney she is so pretty and sweet at least she is trying to be a better mom!
Posted by: barbie | October 20, 2006 at 10:09 AM
Suuuuure......she's trying to be a better mom by not wearing underwear and flashing photographers as she hangs out with Paris. *rolls eyes*
Posted by: Long Island Irish | December 04, 2006 at 02:25 PM