Gallery of the Absurd

Carmen Electra's Marionette

Is this the look that defines ROCK STAR these days?  An overly groomed, makeup-wearing girlie man who balances his 1950's housewife look with the opposing element of devilish, mysterious freaky he-goat....is this really what Dave Navarro has become?  Is Prince aware his signature look has been stolen?  Is Carmen Electra responsible for this?  She does seem to have a thing for scary girlie men. Remember, she was previously married to Dennis Rodman.  A theory begins to hatch.

Would you like to have your own scary girlie man to manipulate?  It's easy!  Just follow the directions on this convenient recipe card and you'll be whipping one up in your kitchen in no time flat! I made one for myself the other day and now I've got him scrubbing my studio while I scold him for stealing my lipstick. 

A Break From Gossip for a Moment

We interupt this program for a special announcement.  Several requests for me to "do something political" have flooded my in-box. I suppose this image fits the theme as this IS the Gallery of the ABSURD.  This is a portrait of George Bush in his first term, so it's a bit outdated....but not really.  Karl Rove would have looked nice as a hovering bat, no?  We will now return to our regularly scheduled program, please stay tuned for more Hollywood antics...

Casting Idea for Upcoming Mr. Ed Remake

I'm still experimenting with the concept of celebrity Before and After photos. After seeing Hilary Duff's sizable new veneers featured in Star magazine's Knifestyles of the Rich and Famous and reading numerous blogs discussing the subject (see google) it occured to me how similar all of this madness is to an old fashioned circus side show.  This is first in my series of Celebrity Freak Show Posters.

Pondering further, I wondered how large Hilary's toothbrush, err.... scrub brush might be. Does she buy her toothpaste in industrial sized tubs?  MEOW! To all you Hilary fans about to flood my in-box with your ire, please remember....I paint the GOSSIP, not the celebrity. Hilary is a pretty girl.  A pretty girl with giant teeth.

Your Worst Nightmare Comes True

I understand what a grave disappointment it is to all of you that Page Six recently announced Britney Spears will not be posing nude on the cover of Vanity Fair. Rumors were swirling, and the nation's anticipation was growing feverish. Determined not to let you down, 14 has decided to put Britney on the cover anyway.