The Devil and Miss Holmes

I was flipping through In Touch magazine and came across a photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that gave me the willies...so of course I had to paint it immediately.  The accompanying article speculated whether they were really in love or if this was just another Hollywood publicity stunt. Truly an enigmatic riddle to contemplate for hours upon hours. UPDATE: The riddle is solved - they're engaged. I shall paint their wedding portrait immediately.

Comments

[lynda]

humm, aren't devil horns and platform shoes evils that Scientology bans? You captured perfectly Katie's blend of fear and surprise and Tom's crafty craziness.

lynda
hipstercards.com

[GRETCHEN]

What no Herpes?

[Jess]

GENIUS!

[Knuckles McGillicutty]

There is so much evil in the world...

[MFG]

You truly have an eye for detail. Proof: the accurate depiction of Katie's frightening feet.

[Mo]

I've always hated the way Tom Cruise laughs. Drives me crazy with that evil cackle and scrunched up nose thing goin' on. You captured it beeee-you-tifully! Lurve the picture.....

[DonnaJEM]

I remember lovin Tom Cruise in the 80's, the whole Top Gun kissy scene with Kelly McGillis, sigh....
Now he's just seems scarry and dee-ranged. The only thing good/funny about him now is when Ben Stiller does impressions of him.
Poor poor Katie. Run girl.....run like the wind.

[Patrick Fitzgerald]

Wonderful! We just need one of him scaling the Eiffel Tower (shades of "King Kong") with his new finance.

[Jeff]

Brilliant!

[LiquidPixel]

Great, as usual! Tom's face reflects all his crazines.

[Sammie]

Hey, they're engaged now! Yikes :-\

[Maggie]

I saw Katie at Balthazar in NYC about a month before Tom kidnapped her. I mention this because she was drinking wine, and now the girl probably can't even have a drink or else her weird scientologist assistant will stuff her in a sauna to sweat out the toxins. What happened to our sweet little JOey?

[Marina]

LOVE the devil tail subtly posed to imply Ms. Holmes' imminent violation.

http://misanthropic_circle.blogs.com/the_misanthropic_circle/

[Use Once & Destroy]

I saw the new Batman movie the other night, and Katie Holmes was giving Batman some dumbfuck self-righteous lecture about some stupid fucking thing, and all I could think was, "Get off your high horse, bitch, you're bearding Tom Cruise." Also, "She has really nice breasts." She spends a lot of time on her back in that movie, which really shaped her rack nicely. Someone told me her breasts were fake -- is that true? Fucking Scientology. Why don't they call it Religionology or something equally as retarded. Anyway, Batman totally rocked. Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow is far hotter than Katie will ever be. And to think I was feeling protective of her. You fucked up, Katie. Real bad.

[Viper Tetsu]

Her glazed, slightly bovine, it's-too-late-for-me-to-back-out-now eyes; his smarmy, lugubrious grin;the atmosphere of cynical soul-selling publicity-sucking calculation (and bearding) wafting around this whole union; you've captured it all. This illo is so fucking perfect...

If I loved humanity as much as I detest Tom Cruise, I'd make Mother Teresa look like Adolf fucking Hitler; that's how deep my hatred of this mediocre little smarmoid runs. Why do good directors continue to hire him? Why do otherwise sensible women (and men) find his fratboy rodent visage so hot?!? News Flash, world--the Li'l Emperor HAS NO FUCKING CLOTHES!

In every post-'Tom-Kat' (there's a phrase that makes me wanna pound someone with a 2 x 4 big time)interview and photo, Katie Holmes looks like a frightened fawn. Or like the nice girl who's too sheepish to own up to the fact that the guy she's dating is a goddamn lunatic, and SHE SHOULD RUN LIKE FUCK THE OTHER WAY. As an actress and in general,Katie's just bland beige wallpaper to these jaded eyes. But she deserves better than Grinning Rubber-Room-Ready Scientology Midget Devil Boy.

Thank you, dear 14, for your invaluable public service.

[Gabriel]

Ick. The madness continues unabated. But I must say I truly enjoyed the horned Cruise of your painting!

Gabriel
Feel the pain at
http://www.WearingTheseChains.com

[Sweet Pea]

Madness I tell you! madness. (Shameless ‘Friends’ rip off, so unoriginal I am)

[Christie]

I just discovered your site and had to look at all of the pictures right away. As all the comments say, you are fantastic! I can't believe you are giving this away, people as talented as you are should be published. I can't decide which was funnier, but I nearly wet myself when I saw the Olsen Twins and Star "Ursula" Jones!

[Carrie]

Awesome! You are fantastic...you should write a book.

[Thomas]

Tom is like one In Touch cover away from being the new Michael Jackson. How many nosedives can our A List suffer from similar malady?

[joey]

Strange. Tom in this picture is exactly as Elron described Xenu. Are you an SP? Are you?! I need my vitamins.

[Brian]

"It's beautiful, man! Fuckin' beautiful!"

-Tom Cruise is "Taps"

[Sophist]

Wow. As far as visions of hell go, Hieronymus Bosch ain't got nothing on you.

[greta]

The fact that this celebrity has diverted our attentions to more important matters that are happening to the world (extreme poverty, war etc.) really makes him a tool of evil.

[Carrie]

You got Tom Cruise's evil grin down -- it scared my Body Thetans.

[cherise]

aw, you left out katie's mouth herpes sores...

[kat]

Tom has a Howard Dean-ish quality in your painting - makes me shudder!

[Agitprop]

We should be happy for the newly engaged couple. I heard they will be spending their honeymooon on the spaceship that follows the Hale-Bop Comet. Fun stuff!

[JuicyV]

Thanks for making me laugh so hard I shot iced tea out of my nose. This is true hilarity!

[Stacey]

That is so funny-I can't wait to see more!

Adding to the comment that said you should paint them climbing the eifel tower like king kong... Katie should be king kong and tom should be the little figurine she's holding in her hand

[Need a barf bag]

Brilliant, man. I used to think humpty dumpty Pee Wee Herman was the scariest thing on earth, but now Tom is coming up strong.

You forgot to give Holmes that "drooling retard" look she's always wearing in candid photos.

[greta]

So does everyone now believe that theyre in love? Because Im still cynical about it.

[jacob]

did you mean to point Tom's tail where it's pointing? Because if so, you are indeed a mad genius.

[Karla]

HA! Tom has a tooth in the middle of his mouth. Truely a creepy detail. YIKES!

[Kris]

That's awesome......Extremely talented.

[SquirtHimAgain]

Didja SEE that ol' Tommy got squirted by a stunt microphone?? I can't WAIT to see what you do with THAT material!

Keep 'em coming! You rhule!

[Christy]

Great portrayal of the Mad Scientology actor and his latest "muse". Don't you think that it's interesting that Tom always dumps his women shortly after they turn 30? Note to Katie: Start packing when you turn 30 and don't be suprised if Tom ends up with his cute little blonde-haired supporting actress in War of the Worlds shortly thereafter...Of course if she only grows up to be his height, that may not be in the cards.

[JJ]

Tom is absolute perfection here, her stance and feet are also pure gold. But her face is just a *touch* off to where she kind of looks more like Cate Blanchett than herself per se. I can't wait to see future incarnations though.

You are super mega gamma talented.

[korean]

hello! i'm korean.
In korea, I've seen them.
you draw fairly well.
that's cool.
bye bye ^-^

[crystal]

Your paintng is genious. However these posters are more than inciteful, they too are brilliant I have enjoyed all.

[John]

Isnt Tom Cruise gay or bi ? or something?

[Beth]

To be honest, the tactics of these two are so cliche and overdone in Hollywood. Anyone in the first 6 mos of a relationship will be insanely happy then it wears off. Either that or it's Zoloft. Okay, that was mean but still...

[lifeonhold]

What a delicious caricature! How I loathe Tom Cruise. Too bad his presence makes me want to pass on War of the Worlds.

I'm glad I found this site.

[debra]

Well, looks like he's made another contract to conceal his true self. For those who want to know why he let's them free at 30 it's so they can have a real life, procreate if they chose, and have benefitted from their relationship. How sad.....

[Teacher]

There is something unbalanced about Tom Cruise. Scientology, medical expertise (where is your degree Tom?), and who are the ladies he snags? Young'uns who haven't had time to decide what they want in life. No more Ms. Kidman, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Rogers..... He can't handle a strong woman.
I have no respect for him.

[Knuckles McGillicutty]

I'm bummed about War of the Worlds, cuz it's a great story, but the combo of Rat Boy and Spielberg, who saturates his movies in sugar and breederisms, is spelling "not even on video" for the McGillicutty household.

[Beth]

I so want to see war of the worlds but with him in it...i'd rather swallow broken glass. I saw a portion of the Today Show interview(due to being at work) just a minute ago. What the heck?! Who died and made him all knowing. His microscopic point of view and his ego make him sound like a jerk to the extreme. He seems to think it's all black and white. he's right and we're wrong and ignorant. I don't think he has the right to talk about brooke's mental health, and if i were her, i'd be damn mad. I don't wish bad things on people...I let karma do my dirty work. so karma...get working!