Hollywood Aliens: Kevin Federline
The Cletus Lizard escaped to Earth after fleeing his filthy and polluted home planet. Planet Shizzle is located in a distant galaxy composed of a vast network of stellar dust and trailer parks. The Cletus Lizard is a shameless parasite who roams the galaxies searching for unsuspecting females to leech off and eventually impregnant. He is quite charming with certain ladies even though he dresses as a giant toddler and lays around doing nothing while muttering nonsensical babble such as "guzzle me fizzle vodka shizzle". He plans to spread his DNA throughout the Earth in hopes of sustaining his species. If not stopped, eventually he and his ilk will pollute and destroy our planet.
OUCH!
Why oh why do women breed with guys like this?! We could erradicate the cletus lizard within a generation or two if women would Just Say No.
Posted by: Knuckles McGillicutty | June 09, 2005 at 01:11 PM
Priceless! Simply priceless! You should frame a copy and send it to the Federlines.
Posted by: sillymiss | June 09, 2005 at 01:55 PM
Blah...disgusting..just like the original one...
Posted by: alice | June 10, 2005 at 05:06 AM
He is white trash...Britney went down right with him. I never liked her anyways. She lacks talent and is immature. She does everything for attention. Now she is going back to her "hick"ish roots. Can't wait to see how fucked up their child is.
Posted by: Cara | June 10, 2005 at 08:13 AM
what's in britney's hand? looks like a toy milk truck. :)
Posted by: amber | June 10, 2005 at 08:21 AM
Fourtizzle, you da ultizzle shizzle.
Minus points for denying the world a view of the Cletus Lizard's inbreeding-induced cloven hooves, though...
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | June 11, 2005 at 03:39 AM
You know when I first looked at the picture I had to blink to figure out what was different from an actual photo. He's just so dirty.
Posted by: Amanda | June 11, 2005 at 06:40 PM
This is going to be just like Whitney and Bobby. This girl is doomed...and Federline gives me the creeps.
Posted by: Åse Camilla Skaarer | June 16, 2005 at 10:23 PM
It' great how everybody calls him Cletus these days. I hope the two of them have heard about how they're being called Cletus and Brandine, because they're just so perfectly suited.
Posted by: Wackawacka | June 19, 2005 at 08:12 AM
I've seen sea urchins generate more energy than this guy. He truly does personify the word vapid.
In two years he'll be bunnin' up with one of the Olson Twins(or who I like to refer to as one of the puppets from the nightmarish Jim Henson Dark Crystal movie).
Posted by: Solipsistic Halo | June 19, 2005 at 09:09 AM
my favorite part: carpe assum.
Posted by: rachel | June 19, 2005 at 07:29 PM
You captured the carnival worker essence of "K-Fed" to a T - hilarious. :)
Posted by: candy b | June 26, 2005 at 09:54 AM
This is such a cool site :)
Keep up the good work.
(tiny typo: "impregnant" -> "impregnate")
Posted by: Debraj | June 26, 2005 at 12:26 PM
this one isnt that good.
&& all of you need to get out more.
Posted by: mee | July 09, 2005 at 11:37 AM
You definitely outdid yourself on this poster!! I laughed so hard, tears came to my eyes. You should seek permission to use it as a birth control deterence slogan.
Posted by: Terrell Lowe | July 17, 2005 at 03:59 PM
he is such a scrub. He only got her pregnant, so it would be harder for her to get rid of him
Posted by: kayla terrance | October 23, 2005 at 09:30 AM
Wonderful. Captures the very essence of this vapid, immature, white trash, gold digging loser. Nothing good will ever come out of this relationship... I truly feel bad for their poor baby, who certainly didn't deserve to be born in this family... Did you guys know that KFed used to be a backup dancer for LFO? Damn, this guy sure likes to hang out with talentless people...
Posted by: Laury | October 31, 2005 at 11:52 AM
Kevin Federline is a waste of life. He is a disgrace on all levels. Sadly, in his own demented little way he has been sucessful. First he somehow managed to get into back up dancing (if you can call it that) and then he manged to get with both Star Jackson and then Britney Spears. He has two children with Star one with Britney. Next he'll go out with one (or both) of the Olsen twins as someone who commented before me wrote; then it's onto Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Linsay Lohan, Dakota Fanning....IT WILL NEVER STOP!!!!! The seeds (germs) of Kevin Federline will flow forever........
Posted by: Long Island Irish | December 09, 2005 at 09:55 PM
brittney spears is trying to take care of her baby son and make it she has a lot of problems w/ her husband do u think she needs this bull pick on kevin butt not my gurl brittney or pick on counrtney love shes a slob druggie
Posted by: lucrissa highfill | January 16, 2006 at 06:42 PM
Carpe assum - priceless!
Posted by: moonmaid | March 14, 2006 at 01:39 PM
Fucking brilliant.
Posted by: Stoney | June 15, 2006 at 01:02 PM